Carol Van Ahlers

Plans are nothing, planning is everything… Dwight D. Eisenhower This quote speaks to our topic just perfectly. Everyone knows that the holidays are filled, overflowing in fact, with plans, parties and traditions. This can be challenging to anyone, but for those in the midst of dealing with loss, festivities can get overwhelming. So let’s take […]

When you have experienced the loss of a loved one, you cannot simply put a pause on your grief and breeze your way into a season of joy. Grief comes in waves, it may get easier in time, but for most it is carried forever. When family gatherings and happy celebrations abound, no matter how

While on a morning walk recently, I came across a woman quietly seated on a bench under a tree. She was looking out over a view of rooftops and foothills. I didn’t see anything in particular that might catch her gaze. If I looked carefully, I could see Mt. Wilson and the Los Angeles skyline.

Flowers at a memorial service add a special loving touch of remembrance from families and friends. It is a beautiful way to honor the passing of a loved one and can bring solace and joy to surviving family members. However, the idea of managing an overwhelming amount of flowers during and after the service often

Many obituaries now conclude with a statement that donations to a certain charity are appreciated in lieu of flowers. This may reflect the wishes of the deceased or the surviving family members. What is the etiquette in such a circumstances? Here are a few guidelines: If you choose to make a donation in honor of

Our last blog talked about how the physical presence of the ocean can provide a sense of calm and peace to those who are hurting. Using our senses, we are able to take the grace and magnificence of the sea to help us work through emotions that are hard to deal with in our usual

Whenever I’m at the ocean, either driving by or lucky enough to spend some time on the warm sand, I have a sense of relaxation and rejuvenation. This got me thinking that the sea, with its vastness, its mysteries and beauty, might just be the perfect place to go when your soul needs to heal.

Grief is a river that you wade in until you get to the other side… Barbara Crooker’s poem “Grief”, which begins with these words, reflects her personal experience with loss and the overwhelming impact of her sorrow. Her words, like the words of poets from many generations, can be a great source of solace to

Losing a husband or life partner – it’s impossible to fathom or understand until it happens to you. Friends and family can be a loving source of support, but until they have experienced such a loss, they can sympathize but not empathize. As with so many challenges today, we can turn to the Internet for

This past Sunday was Mother’s Day, a time honored tradition that sets aside a particular day each year to make sure we remember to appreciate all those who have played a mothering role in our lives, our mothers and grandmothers, the mothers of our children and even our friends. Anna Jarvis of Philadelphia is credited